Check it. I hit Trillectro this weekend. I’m chilling in the very back of the pavilion section (wishing I had a joint). I got caught slipping. Out of fucking nowhere, this chick comes up, sits on the armrest of the empty chair beside me and commences to take a selfie… with me. No hi, no introduction. First words out my mouth: I’m not who you think I am. Not going to get into why I said that, just trust me. In return, I get a weird stare that let me know that what I just said didn’t register as relevant because she just continued to hold the phone up.

“Yo what are you doing?”
“It’s a selfie.”
“I know that but why?”
*skips off*

No, I did not give chase. I laughed to myself, and wondered who else just saw what happened and thought “what the hell was that about?” like I did. I wouldn’t consider myself skittish. Maybe a tad standoffish. I’m just not the type to run up on people I don’t know, and I kind of expect that same treatment. Clearly, shit does not work like that. Yo she was probably down for whatever, should’a bagged that is what (I feel like) most dudes, and some chicks, would say after hearing that short re-cap. That might be true. But I can’t say I find strange women — who appear without warning or greeting, steal a small piece of your soul with cellular photography technology, and then prance off like it’s normal — appealing. That is some loony shit to me. Actually, it’s loony. Period.

With that said, shout out to all the women who didn’t stab a dude when they rolled up on them on some disrespectful shit. Your tolerance is applauded forever.